


We Need to Talk About Chris

by KirstenSmee



Category: S.W.A.T. (TV 2017)
Genre: Drinking, Gen, Grief/Mourning, worried Tan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29860092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KirstenSmee/pseuds/KirstenSmee
Summary: After Erika's death, Chris is spiraling and nobody notices. Until they do.Just a short oneshot that's inspired by the promo for SWAT episode 4x11 where we see Tan at Chris's apartment asking her if he should be worrying and she telling him not to say anything to anybody.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	We Need to Talk About Chris

Chris knew that this wasn’t healthy. Sleeping with random strangers just so she wouldn’t need to think, to feel. Drinking too much just so she could sleep. But what else there was to do?

She couldn’t think about losing Erika. Her roommate. Her friend. Her confidant. Because every time she did the tears wouldn’t stop and the sleep wouldn’t come.

And Dr. Wendy wouldn’t give her something to help her sleep. So, she drank enough to pass out in a dreamless void. The hangovers the next day were killer. But that at least she could deal with.

What she couldn’t deal with was that every time she saw light in the dark, every time she thought that she might be getting a tiny bit better, the relief slipped through her fingers, and back on the ground she was, sitting in front of Erika’s door, sobbing.

And round and round in circles she went. More partying, more alcohol. And sometimes Chris wondered how long until someone will start suspecting something.

How long before her recent bout of morning headaches will start looking suspicious. How long before they will realize that the dark circles under eyes aren’t from grieving Erika. Or how long before someone will come to check on her and discover that her apartment looked like a war zone – empty bottles everywhere, mixed in with dirty clothes and pizza boxes.

She will worry about that when it happens, Chris decided. Right now, it’s the nightly bottle of alcohol of some sort, tonight it was tequila, and slipping into the comforting darkness of alcohol-induced sleep. At least tonight it is in her own bed.

But before she could finish the bottle and pass out a knock sounded on her apartment door. Her first instinct was - Erika. That she has forgotten her keys again and wanted Chris to let her it. But then she remembered that it couldn’t be Erika. She’s gone because Chris talked her into taking that shift with 20 Squad. The shift that got her killed. 

She took one more swing from the bottle of tequila.

But before she could sink back into her grief another knock echoed through her apartment, this time a louder one, followed by a voice telling her to let him in.

At least it wasn’t Street.

So, Chris stood up a bit shakily and went to let Tan in.

“Hey,” Chris greeted her teammate. But he didn’t reply right away, just angrily brushed past her and walked into her apartment.

“Why do I get a call from an old buddy down in the Hollywood division about one of my teammates starting a bar fight?” Tan demanded only then noticing the state of Chris’s apartment.

“Who snitched?” Chris asked, hoping to distract Tan. But it didn’t work. He just barreled on.

“And what’s with your apartment? It looks like a ranger had just ended here.” Tan observed and for the first time in a long while he really looked at Chris.

She looked thin. Like she’s lost weight. He hadn’t noticed it at work. 

There were dark circles under her eyes. A bruise was forming on her left cheek. 

And the apartment, it smelled like a brewery. 

Scratch that, Chris smelled like a brewery and by the looks of the half-empty tequila bottle that she was still clutching in her hand, she was drunk, too.

“I just hadn’t had time to clean up with TLI and everything,” Chris tried to reason but Tan knew it was a lie. She was announced as the winner of the TLI competition a week ago.

“Have you eaten anything with that bottle?” Tan changed the topic for now since Chris was also lightly swaying.

“Yeah, I ate lunch.” She replied not realizing that lunch was hours ago. 

So Tan went to her fridge to check if there was any food he could make for her not trusting Chris to eat anything if he didn’t force her. He opened the fridge and other than two pieces of molded-over leftover pizza and some expired milk there wasn’t much there. So, he decided to check her freezer. Chris protested as he went for the freezer door but Tan pulled it open anyway. It was full of alcohol.

“Should I be worried?” he questioned knowing full well that he should. That question seemed to agitate her, though.

“I’m fine, okay? I’m cleared for duty. The shrink signed off on it. I’m good.” She almost yelled back. It made Tan flinch for a second but Chris caught that and kept going, “I won the TLI competition, didn’t I? I beat Street. I’m good to go.” 

Bragging. That wasn’t something Chris did often. Drunk or not. It was all wrong.

“Fine. Just, eat something, okay?” He raised his hands in the air to show that he wasn’t looking for a fight.

“Yeah, I will. See, I’m ordering pizza right now.” She said showing Tan her phone that said that she had just placed an order for the local pizza place around the corner.

An awkward silence fell between the teammates. Tan didn’t know if he should stay and wait for the pizza to arrive and Chris to actually ear or not but Chris was giving him an angry look so he opted to head out.

“Okay, well, I’m going then. Bonny’s waiting on me at home.” Tan said and started walking towards the door. Chris trailed after him nodding her head.

“Hey, Tan,” Chris spoke up just as Tan was pulling open her apartment door, “Don’t tell anyone okay?”

It sounded like a mix between a plea and an order. And strangely like something someone would follow with 'or else'...

So, Tan just nodded and walked out.

Once he got to his car, he sat there for 10 minutes not knowing what to do. On one hand, he could just leave it be hoping that his visit would be a wake-up call for Chris. But by the looks of her apartment, this has been going on for a while now. Probably since Erika passed. And none of them noticed.

Chris was good at hiding her personal stuff from the team. So, what if this continues? That was a scary thought. Which made Tan realize that he had to tell someone.

Street was out of the question. He had noticed the tension between him and Chris the last few shifts. And the way she almost spat Street’s name when bragging about winning TLI, Tan had a suspicion that something was going on between the two teammates.

Luca was gone, so that didn’t help him much. And Hondo was their boss which meant big trouble for Chris. 

That only left one person – Deacon.

So Tan picked up his phone and dialed.

“Hey, Deac,” he said as soon as Deacon picked up, “Can I come over? We need to talk about Chris.”


End file.
